Back!

I was going to start this blog with an apology (yet again!) for not keeping up - but then I realised that I blogged just before Sara and the girls came out and it's only two days since they went home! So I've not been that bad really!

I decided that for this holiday neither of us was going to spend a total of €180 on taxi fares, the route to the airport is so straight forward. Unfortunately Sara worries about me constantly - whether I'm in the house, driving or whatever. (I sometimes wonder who's the parent and who's the child here? !!!!!) Anyway I made it to the airport safely to collect them (and returned them safely when they went home).

The weather was very disappointing for the first few days, quite a lot of rain, finally the sun made an appearance but there was a strong breeze with it which kept the temperature down and made going on the beach a non-starter. So we just pottered around, played with the children and chilled as much as we could. We did take a trip to the Yorkshire Linen shop in Javea, trying to track down curtains and bedlinen. I bought a lovely brightly coloured voile type curtain for the bedroom in gold, red and pink. I also bought two 'table runners' in the same fabric with tapered ends and tassels which have been turned into curtains for the kitchen window! Quite effective!

Bed linen - why can you never find what you want? I've trawled the internet, dozens of curtain retailers and what I want just isn't there. The only thing that really caught my eye at Yorkshire Linen - white with embroidered flowers in the colours I wanted - was the only set left and in double bed size - grrrrrrrrr! In the end I settled for a set in black and white and a set in black with a scattering of coloured sequinned circles. Got the black and white on at the moment, still wondering whether the second (all black) set will be too 'heavy' looking.

As we were leaving the shop at Javea the heavens opened and we got soaked running the 100 meters to where the car was parked. We'd had a bit of difficulty finding the place even with the TomTom (the physical street names never quite match what's in the TomTom so it's a matter of luck if you hit it right first time - and we didn't), so, now wet through, we were looking forward to getting home as soon as possible. TomTom took a different view and sent us on a wild goose chase way out into the country and up some hills where we should never have gone. Sara was frightened half to death. We did finally get back on track and home safely! (And that's the short version of the story!)

The last two days have been lovely - sunny and warm. Yesterday I spent the whole day washing and cleaning, still a bit of ironing to finish but otherwise everything is done. Today was market morning and for the first time since Derek died I stopped for a coffee at the stall in the market - it was lovely sitting in the sun watching people (we were great people watchers!). Also treated myself to two new pairs of shoes and two pairs of shorts! Followed that with a supermarket shop then spent this afternoon in the garden tidying up, getting pots ready for new plants etc. Hope to get to the garden centre tomorrow; however I see in the paper today that the Easter Fiestas continue - there's a parade at 11 in the morning followed by 'Giant paella for everyone' at 2.00 pm and music at 5.00 pm, then on Sunday afternoon a float and fancy dress parade, followed by bull fighting. Problem is I'm not sure whether these are happening in Teulada or Moraira (Moraira began life as Teulada's 'port' I believe, so the two are inextricably linked). If it's in Moraira then I might go and watch.

I've booked two trips back to the UK - one in June/July and the other for christmas, both for about 16 days. During my summer visit we (the family that is) will make a decision about Derek's memorial service and set a date, after which I'll be able to book the trip for that.

Got the plumber coming back next week to do some work on the downstairs cloakroom where we've put the washing machine and drier (which is sitting on top of the washing machine). All we did was put a couple of supports across the tiled shower 'tray' and stand the washing machine on it. It's made the room very cluttered and claustrophobic and the washing machine is awkward to get at, so the shower 'tray' is being removed, the whole floor will be retiled and hopefully it will be a more 'user friendly' place! (The drier is going up into the garage, it's ancient and I rarely use it but I don't want to get rid of it yet).

There are just one or two other little jobs still to be done but on the whole the house is back to normal - all it needs now is a lick of paint! It's nice to have everything sorted, seem to have been in a muddle for ever!

That's it for now -waffle over - hasta luego!

Happy Easter!

I think we're having a typical British easter weekend weather-wise here in Spain - sunshine and showers! Even so, I took it into my head this morning to visit the garden centre down the road. Derek's plan was to have geraniums in pots going up the steps to the driveway. I may not have bought the right geraniums - trailing ones might have been a better idea and I don't think the ones I bought trail.... Never mind, it's a step (no pun intended!) in the right direction. I also wanted a stephanotis but couldn't see one and as rain was threatening again I decided not to hang around and search for one. We had a stephanotis, bought it 18 months ago, but it suffered in the heat last year and we didn't get back here in time to save it. I also wanted a basil plant but they didn't have one of those either - I love the smell of basil and like to have one on the windowsill outside my kitchen window. I need to do some work to the bed on top of one of the walls but for safety's sake I'm waiting until Sara and the girls arrive - it's a narrow bed, two feet wide and six feet up and I don't want to land in a heap when there's no-one around.

I'm being cautious about climbing ladders etc. - when Derek was here I wouldn't give it a second thought but now I'm on my own the idea of accidents is making me think twice before I do anything.

Apart from setting the geraniums out I haven't been particularly active but I have made good headway answering the many emails I received after Derek died. I realised this week that I haven't felt particularly 'chatty', wanting to shut the world out a lot of the time, just saying, yes I'm OK when people ask how I am and not wanting to prolong conversations. All part of the grieving process I suppose. Today is the first time I've felt like dealing with them.

Not sure how I plan to spend the rest of the weekend - there'll be some chores to do ready for Sara and the girls arriving on Wednesday and I'd like to do some scrapping too, I have a few ideas but whether they'll amount to anything remains to be seen. If I manage a layout or two I'll post them here.

Been sitting on the naya with the lappy all afternoon, now it's turning chilly so I'm off indoors to make a cuppa and see if there's anything exciting on tv.

Hope you all have a great Easter!

Whoops!

Didn't realise it had been so long since I blogged. A thousand apologies to friends who are waiting for news of how I am, I am so sorry to have kept you waiting!




Well, the big news is the kitchen and bedroom/ensuite are finished - YAY!!!! All that's needed now in both rooms are the 'little touches' - decent curtains etc. etc. A few pics, first the kitchen ....



Those dreadful boring blue curtains at the window are temporary I assure you - am looking for something much brighter and more cheerful!

Now the bedroom and ensuite ...







The bedlinen is also temporary for this room but is bright and cheerful and roughly the colours I'm planning to use, because I am totally besotted with my shower curtain and had to have it the minute I clapped eyes on it! Better picture below:










It inspired me to scrap - after a fashion! This is what I did this afternoon, the first scrapping I've done since goodness knows when - I hope it has kicked my dozey mojo into action...







A bit blurry I'm afraid! I matched cardstock exactly to the colours in the curtain and copied the patterns. Bought 4 cheap silver coloured frames and even managed to hang them on the wall opposite the beds.

Now, as to how I'm doing.... A lot better than I expected to be honest. I'm sure having workmen in the house for so long has helped. I've had to make decisions and generally be practical about what needs to be done, and haven't really had time to brood or wallow in self-pity.

We'd known since Derek had his aneurysm operation in 2000 that his time was limited - the consultant told us in 2001 that we had maybe three or four years before the abdominal aneurysm would reach a size that would start giving problems. We were lucky and had 7 years. We tried to make the best of it, but at the same time we BOTH mourned the loss of the man Derek had been. If I'm to be truthful here I have to say that after his kidney removal at christmas I did not expect him to live until the end of this year. Each time he was ill it seemed to take more out of him and each time he recovered less well.

And this may shock you - I am not surprised at how things have turned out. Why? Because each time we've moved house Derek has had a major illness within 6 months. The first move was followed by a heart attack, which led to severe angina and eventually bypass surgery; the second move was followed by the aneurysm; the temporary move last year (between selling our house and moving here) was marred by the diabetes diagnosis; and finally the move here ......

As to what I'm going to do - stay here in Spain or return to the UK - I haven't made any decisions about that yet, and don't plan to for several months. First and foremost, I'm certain Derek would be hugely disappointed in me if I threw in the towel and high-tailed it back to Lincolnshire straight away. Second - well, I read the papers and watch Sky news - do I WANT to go back to the UK, what has it got to offer me (or anyone else for that matter)? - NOTHING, ZERO, ZILCH ..... (apart from the family that is). I certainly never want to own property over there again, seems you're a sitting duck for every tax and price hike known to man if your money's in bricks and mortar - NO THANK YOU! Having said that, I haven't a clue at the moment what I'm going to do with myself here, haven't had time to see what there is on offer, although one of my priorities is to get going with Spanish and I believe there is free tuition via the Town Hall. The children are telling me to stay where I am, although Sara would also like me to go 'home' as she worries about me so much! I do at least need to try and build a life for myself here, otherwise it will be a terrible waste of everything we worked towards.

We hope to hold some kind of memorial service in the UK later in the year, that is something I must start thinking about. I'll probably go back in June/July to start preparing for it, and I would like it to be around 5th September, which would be our 43rd anniversary. I wonder if anyone thinks that's morbid?

Sara, Chloe and Elli arrive here next Wednesday for a week. We're looking forward to seeing each other, and crossing our fingers for lovely weather! I hope the boys and their families will be able to visit soon as well. We had dreadful rain again last week, the workmen had just finished in the house and I was looking forward to getting out and about, looking for the things I want to finish the new rooms, but it was so awful I stayed put - very depressing though!

OK, I've whittered on long enough - thank you for your patience! And thanks to everyone who's been sending me messages and emails and reminding me that this update is long overdue! .... Bless all of you ......