Not a great week

Suffering from cabin fever I think. Monday morning I spent in Denia while the car was being serviced, had a browse round a few stores nearby to while away the three hours, at least I came away with a few furnishing ideas if I decide to make any changes in the house. The remainder of the day I spent waiting for the funeral director to bring the death certificates and Derek's ashes to me. Tuesday I went to see someone for advice about the things I'm required to do here in Spain - officialdom in other words. She can take care of everything, I just have to notify the bank. The rest of the week I had to stay at home while more work went on in the house - this time tiling the kitchen. I was told the new granite worktops should be here Thursday or Friday. Didn't come Thursday and on Friday I was told it would now be Tuesday (Monday is a fiesta day - Dia del Padre, Father's Day). Late in the day however I got a phone call to say the tops would be fitted late that afternoon. Have to say they look very nice! I am still without a functioning sink, hob, dishwasher or fridge (I do have a fridge though!) but because of the holiday don't expect anything to happen until Tuesday now. I am now desperate to get this all finished and the house to myself. Feel as though everything is on hold, I can't get on.

I have managed to have a good clean up though, the dust has been horrendous, it took two washings of the floor to get it clean but some things still feel 'gritty', including my lappy keyboard!

Mother's Day today and I've had some lovely cards and pressies - chocolates, a Mother's Day teddy, a beautiful mother of pearl trinket box and matching photo frame, and some incense sticks which smell gorgeous! The chocs are nearly gone, even though I swore I'd make them last the week!

Did some work in the garden - lots of sawdust from the kitchen work, dead leaves and assorted other muck needed clearing up. There's still a lot of rubbish from the kitchen and building work that needs to be taken away but I did what I could. Also tidied up the beds where I have wisteria, jasmine and a passionflower planted. A rogue briar was also growing there, I can't get to the root but I've chopped it back and will keep doing it in the hope it will weaken and give up! The wisteria and jasmine are flowering, the jasmine is really pretty. The passionflower looks a bit sad, but I'm hoping it will recover now. I need to get some pretty pots for geraniums - Derek wanted to have some on the steps, so I'll do my best!

Do hope I can get out and about this week, it all depends on this work being finished - roll on Tuesday!

Update

Time for one I think..... First, the work in the house. Last weekend I decided to retile the kitchen after all. I love the tiles that are already there, they fit in with the colour scheme and are quite a modern design. Unfortunately I don't have enough spare for the ones that will need to be chopped out for new sockets etc. and they should all really be regrouted if they're going to stay. All in all, I think it will look a mess and spoil the kitchen. And then I decided to change the worktop from laminate to granite while I'm at it. Looks like that will all hold things up for another week. For several days now I haven't had a kitchen sink, I don't have a hob either (and I'd LOVE a boiled egg!). I do have all the cabinets in place, a fridge, a dishwasher, an oven and a microwave - fridge and dishwasher aren't working yet. Some doors arrived damaged, one of which is the fridge decor door, the other for under the sink unit. It's looking good and I can't wait for it to be finished. I ordered new tiles, hope they'll be here this week.

The plumber came and installed all the fittings in the new ensuite. That looks good too! Very pleased with the choices we made. Still using the new bedroom to store a lot of kitchen things in, as I've only been able to fill about half the cabinets so far. And there are several things to finish in that room too. I've started some snagging lists! Just want everything finishing now, it's dragged on since November, just want to be straight again.

Had to visit the doctor again this morning. Thought the course of antibiotics had done the trick but yesterday I didn't feel at all well again. Couldn't decide whether it was sinusitis or hay fever (we've been plagued with yellow 'dust' for over a week now, turns out it's pollen - and it's everywhere!). So I've got a repeat course of antibs and some antihistamines as well.

Wanted to get out in the garden today and try and restore some order. Unfortunately, the damn wind got up again and I decided I was wasting my time. Retired to the sun lounger on the naya with the papers and a magazine.

Still haven't received the official death certificates so haven't been able to start tackling 'officialdom' yet, either here or in the UK. The english version ones have been issued but the Spanish language ones aren't with the funeral director yet. Can't even put an announcement in the local paper back in the UK without 'proof'.

Had a phone call from Derek's sister today, I'm going over to see them tomorrow for lunch and maybe tea. Hope I'm not still coughing myself stupid.

Over the past couple of weeks almost everyone has asked me what I plan to do in the future. I'm going to leave my thoughts on this until my next post (partly because I want to go and watch something on TV!)......

After the funeral .........

The fitting of the new kitchen had been scheduled to begin the day before the funeral. They agreed to re-arrange it to begin the day after instead. OK, it is bound to be somewhat chaotic but I want to get it done and the bedroom finished and I know once you put something off you could be waiting ages!

While Simon was taking Mark to the airport, and I was snoozing in the armchair, Sara and Scott set to and emptied the kitchen cupboards and put everything in the new bedroom next door in readiness for the next day, which dawned bright and sunny. Simon, Scott and Chloe were due to leave around 11 am so we didn't have to rush around too much. The kitchen units arrived and were stacked under the drive, then the removal of the rest of the units began. I can't remember which day we actually lost the use of the sink and the water, we had to resort to buying water again for drinks and use the downstairs cloakroom to wash up. As well as the kitchen people we had plumbers (moving the washing machine) and the electrician (upgrading the supply).

Thursday Sara insisted I went to the doctor, didn't argue, felt lousy. Sure enough, a chest infection, so antibiotics prescribed. Had a long talk with the doctor who was the one who'd visited Derek last week. Whenever I need help (bereavement counselling etc.) everything is available to me, just have to ask. I love the meds you can get in Spain - after two antibs the pain around my ribs had started to go and I began to feel better. In the UK it would have taken days before I saw any improvement. Managed to get some tidying up done and arrange what was left of the kitchen so we could prepare food and make cups of tea. A bit like camping!

Friday we visited the market and did one or two errands in the village, a bit of food shopping to tide me over the weekend as I didn't plan on moving far, just resting - the walk around the market took more out of me than I expected. Rest definitely seems to be the order of the day.

Finally, Saturday was here and Sara and Elli were due to leave. I really didn't want this to be a hugely emotional stressful event - Sara doesn't travel well, her trips almost always end with a migraine, never mind that she would be upset over leaving me and missing her dad. She has over an hour's drive back in the UK to get home, nightmare with a migraine. But Antonio, our taxi driver, is a very understanding man and is now used to her bawling her eyes out on the way to the airport every time she leaves! To add to the stress of this particular journey, when I checked the flight on the internet I found there was over an hour's delay. We spoke to each other three or four times after she arrived at the airport, each time ended with Sara in tears, me trying to console her, anything to stop the headache starting. In vain unfortunately so I was pleased to hear from her later that she'd arrived home safely.

As for me, I set to on the laundry mountain and managed to give the downstairs a good clean up. It was at least tidy for the rest of the weekend, which I spent being as lazy as possible!

To be continued............

27th February - The funeral

We planned a simple ceremony - two pieces of music and the reading in my previous post. There was never any doubt about the first song - True Love Ways by Buddy Holly - our song, chosen by Derek in 1962. He heard it while on holiday visiting his favourite aunt, uncle and cousin in Lyme Regis. His cousin Jen had the LP, Derek heard this song, bought the record and sent it to me with the simple message: 'Dedicate track 2 side 2 to you'. WOW! An unexpectedly romantic gesture - that's when I knew we'd be together for life.

We walked into the room to that music, Chloe holding my hand. Sara and I had brought roses from a bouquet I received the day before from our dearest friends and former neighbours Doug and Doreen, who sadly hadn't been able to get flights to arrive in time. We placed them on the casket in front of the beautiful arrangement of roses and lilies we'd chosen - roses because that's what he always sent me for birthdays and anniversaries, and lilies because he loved them and used to buy them for me any old time.

Oddly enough, the Buddy Holly song didn't get to me the way I thought it would, probably because it's always brought a smile to my face and I remembered the good times. But by the end of the reading which followed the tears were starting to flow and when the second song began (which is when we should have made moves to leave) Sara and I were clinging to each other and Mark was on his knees on my other side, all of us crying, Chloe too, but no wonder, so much emotion.

The second song was 'Sweet Caroline' by Neil Diamond - this was the children's choice, Derek was a big fan and they all associate the sounds of Neil Diamond's music playing in the house or in the car with Derek. The loveliest thing, which brought smiles to all our faces, including the attendants standing at the side, was the sight of little Elli bopping away in her pushchair in perfect time to the music! Bless her! We stayed to the end of the song, said our final goodbyes and left. Once we'd left the room the casket would be removed for cremation.

The day was sunny and warm, just as we'd hoped, the only problem being that I'd caught the cold bug Sara had been battling with since she arrived the week before, my nose was so stuffed I could hardly breathe and crying hadn't helped. Back home the boys swung into action with the barbecue. Derek's sister and brother in law, K and P, were with us as well. Mark and Scott did a grand job, Sara prepared some salad and Simon did pasta - at least I think that's how it went! To be honest I felt so bad with the cold I barely noticed. I do remember eating a very tasty hotdog though!

While being extremely sad and difficult, we thought (hoped?) Derek would have approved of how we said goodbye.

K and P left and all too soon it was time for Mark to leave too, his flight was at 9.20 that evening - when he flew out his dad was still alive and we had no idea what the outcome was to be. I would have liked him to change it so he could fly back the following day with Simon, Scott and Chloe, but it meant changing operators as well as date/time and seemed too much hassle. Simon took him to the airport, using our TomTom to get himself there and back safely. Told Mark to text me when he got home regardless of time. Had just woken up at about 2.45 with a coughing fit when my phone beeped with a message to say he'd just got in.

More soon .......