RIP Dougie

Dougie - one of our best friends and a wonderful neighbour - died yesterday, 22nd March 2009 at 11.10 am.

Every village has a couple like Dougie and Doreen - generous with their love, time, help and whatever else is called for, a couple everyone is naturally drawn towards. We became acquainted with them when we moved to Ingham in the late 80s. In 1999 we bought their house, while they moved into his mother's house next door, following her move into residential care. Our friendship began and we soon learned what truly wonderful people they are.

When Derek was ill in 2000 there's no doubt I couldn't have coped without them. Through the years that followed before we moved to Spain and as Derek's health slowly deteriorated they and their family did more for us than I can ever repay.

Early last year Dougie was finally diagnosed with lung cancer, after 18 months or more of feeling unwell. The tumour had probably been there for two years and it angers me beyond words that, despite repeated visits to the doctor, it took them so long to find the damn thing. He started treatment but to no avail. In February he was admitted to hospital with an infection then transferred to Nottingham for a procedure to help his breathing. By then he needed oxygen all the time. He returned home for about three weeks and then went into the hospice to get his pain under control.

Mark phoned me yesterday morning to wish me 'Happy Mother's Day'. We were talking about Dougie when my mobile buzzed - a message from Jenny, Doug's daughter in law, to say he'd died. That gave both of us a very spooky feeling.

I don't know yet when the funeral will be but I will be there of course. Doug and Doreen weren't able to get here in time for Derek's funeral but that's only because here in Spain burial or cremation takes place within two or three days. I had to stop both Mark and Sara booking flights there and then, but I am expecting to be travelling back next Sunday or Monday, and will stay a couple of weeks.

Last night Sara said she would like to think Dougie had met up with Derek already and they were having a good old natter just as they used to. A comforting thought!

All fondness unexpressed, all farewells unspoken, all smiles unseen, a waterfall of tears is not enough. We never had the chance to say goodbye, a true friend and honourable man, you will be forever missed and always remembered.

Rest in Peace, my dear, dear friend.

It's been so long - part three!

March:

Only halfway through the month I know but I’ve been quite busy and I might as well blog it!

I’ll get the sad news over first, and as we heard this early in the month anyway it’s appropriate.

In the first part of this update I said I’d say something about Blue Skies. We’ve learned that the organiser, Julia, is in the UK suffering from cancer and unlikely to return. This is apparently a recurrence of the cancer she had about six years ago. Sadly her condition is terminal and she’s refused further treatment. This goes some way to explaining why she was away in the UK so much last year. Often we didn’t even know she was away, let alone why. What we find so terribly sad is that she obviously didn’t feel close enough to us to confide in us. She was always interested in knowing all about others but hardly ever talked about herself. As Helen has had cancer and both she and Annie have lost husbands to this terrible disease there would have been a lot of support and help, even from our little group. Another Blue Skies member (an estate agent) is going to sell her house. We’re waiting for more news.

I did Monday lunch here on the 2nd as Annie and Helen were to embark on their Caribbean cruise two days later. Thought it would be a nice way to say ‘Bon Voyage’. Just a simple lunch of bread and alioli, salmon, potatoes, veg and salad, a light lemon jelly cream dessert, and plenty of wine. Helen gave me some freesias which were blooming in her garden and she didn’t want them to go to waste! They lasted almost two weeks – lovely!

One of the estate agencies managed to get me a viewing this month but nothing seems to have come of it so far.

Came 2nd in the Music Quiz which John and June run once a month at Monroe’s 2! Just Evelyn and me in our team – the winners were a team of 6 or 7, so we were really pleased with the result. (Bottle of wine each).

John celebrated his birthday on the 10th. A few of us gathered at his house for cava before going to La Pista in Jalon for lunch, where 24 of us helped him celebrate. June had ordered a huge cake in the shape of a guitar. After lunch half the party went to the Alleluia bar, again in Jalon, where we amused the rest of the clientele by playing word games (very noisily and in some cases very drunkenly) for a few hours! Finally those of us who’d been at the house before lunch returned there for a light snack, more drink, and watching some music dvds before departing for home. Except me. June had already invited me (more like insisted) to stay the night as it would be a long boozy day and she and John worry about me driving home late at night particularly when drink is involved. June can’t remember much of the evening but wasn’t the worse for wear the following day. Took the opportunity while I was there to look at ‘my’ pots which are now filled and situated around their lovely garden. Minor complaint from June that it’s cost them a fortune in compost and plants!

The cake!

John and cake...



John and June - I love the pictures on the wall behind them!




Pleased to report that John has his regular gig again at The President Bar in Javea. The last three months have been a bit bleak on the live entertainment front, not just for John but all the live entertainers up and down the Costas, as the bars and restaurants assess the impact of the regulars cutting back on their spending, coupled with the lack of visitors.

Scott has had his op! He was able to go home the same evening, but we're still waiting for the biopsy results - hopefully by the end of this week and crossing our fingers it will be good news.

Will leave it here for today - hopefully it won't be this long before I blog again.

It's been so long - part two!

February:

Started the month by having Nick come over to check my roof for slipped and cracked tiles, following the gales of last month. Thankfully I have plenty of spares in my basement and he replaced 8 or 9 for me.

Engaged two more estate agents and reduced the asking price in an effort to get the house sold.

Nick turned 65 this month. We celebrated by going to Benidorm! John was singing at Monroe’s 3 that night but he has an early start so was done by 9.30. By 10 the four of us were in a lovely Indian restaurant ordering our meal. I gave Nick a DVD – ‘The Time of Your Life’ (1944) – full of news clips, music etc. from that year.

The 23rd marked the 2nd anniversary of the day Derek died. It happened to be a Monday and this time I didn’t stay home on my own, but joined my girlfriends for lunch as usual. Not the best day but not unpleasant either.

Lots of socialising during the month as usual – I think I’m averaging about 4 outings a week at the moment. Thankfully not all involve eating! My weight loss has slowed but I’ve come so far I know it’s not the end of the world and with a little more exercise and a bit of effort I’ll get where I want to be.

Scott should have had his gall bladder removed on the 18th but it was cancelled yet again. He and Sara were very upset and angry and went to talk to their GP. Eventually it was re-scheduled for 11th March and they were assured that this time it really will happen.

I ‘donated’ all my terracotta pots which we inherited from the previous owners of this house to John and June. They had to come twice to collect them all, and it took John a whole day to clean them (guess why I was happy to give them away!). They’re happy, and I’m happy as the garden looks much tidier and now truly is low maintenance.

It’s quite frightening how quickly the ‘credit crunch’ has begun to bite – I doubt it will end at quite the same speed. The banks seem to have gobbled up all the financial help they’ve received but I assume they’re lining their own pockets first before they do anything to help the economy and will probably ask for more before they do anyway.

Another cold ‘stay indoors’ month. I wondered if I’d been a bit premature in getting Nick to check the roof as we has yet more strong winds, but thankfully the roof is intact and no tile slippage.

It's been so long!

Two and a half months worth of catching up to do! I’ll do it in two or three parts so I don’t bore anyone…

January:

As always, the highlights in my life are the social occasions, whether it’s lunch with my girlfriends, evenings spent at various places in the company of friends, listening to the music of my youth (!), or going out to eat with the ‘singles’ from the U3A or Blue Skies (more of Blue Skies later). In January there was a little less activity because of the time of year.

I went with Brian (a friend I met through Blue Skies) to see ‘Quantum Leap’ at a lovely little cinema in Javea. I was impressed with the cinema but not the film! Couldn’t make any sense of it and it was much too loud, came away with my usual headache – decided the cinema is not for me and won’t be bothering again (last time I went, back in the UK, was to see Finding Nemo – say no more!). The cinema itself is very nice – recently renovated and I was particularly impressed at how comfortable the seats were. I could easily have fallen asleep had the film not been so noisy.

The following day Brian and I went for lunch to a new restaurant (Le Soleil) in Moraira. He is waiting for a hip operation and is suffering terrible pain, not able to get out very much so takes every chance he can, but needs someone with him. (As of today as far as I know he is still waiting for his op).

Mariel (one of my g/fs) did lunch at her house one Monday, instead of meeting up in the village as we usually do. Lovely lunch and lovely afternoon, just talking and knocking back the wine – a nice change and very enjoyable.

Saw ‘Mama Mia’ too this month, thanks to a ‘girly night’ in the Norma Jean bar at Monroe’s – loved the film and the atmosphere in the bar was lively, to say the least!

Derek would have been 70 on the 24th, wasn’t sure how I would feel so decided not to go out with the U3A that evening, in case of ‘meltdown’! Actually I was OK but pleased I chose to stay at home.

January was a very cold month and we had a fair bit of rain and some very chilly, very strong winds. Definitely a time to stay in and keep warm!